Reconnecting

I don't know why I've been hesitant to write about this but maybe subconsciously I thought I might jinx myself. So, what am I talking about? Or more precisely, who? Mathew, of course. If you've been reading my blog for very long you know that we had a terrible falling out in October of 2007. I have made many mistakes, as parents often do, and he became very hostile toward me (and my DH) for various reasons, and for no apparent reasons at all (as far as we know). But I don't think at this point that pointing fingers will serve any purpose.

Anyway, while I was in Arizona taking care of my mother in last few weeks before she passed away, Mathew drove down to see her. He was there for a week and I don't believe anything could have made his grandma more happy. He was always her 'favorite' and we all knew that he held a special place in her heart. She asked for him repeatedly while he was there. They sat for hours talking, laughing, telling stories, catching up, and loving each other.

During that time we had time also to talk, to laugh, to cry, and in the end, began the long road to recovery. I was able to accept the person he had become and he is trying to accept the parent that I needed to be.

Long story short, my heart is happy once again. And I know we have a long way to go, and that the road ahead of us will be bumpy, sometimes distant, and tentative, but the road is before us.

As for Mat, he is doing better than I ever expected that he would. He's a hard worker, dependable, and focused. He has matured into a handsome, kind, and quiet man. He is happy in his own skin and has high hopes for his future.

What more could a mother hope for? I love him so much. And I still miss him terribly. Which is, I suppose, what a mother does!


Until Next time...Happy Needling!!!

Gerry