Are You Paralyzed By The Stash?

I found this wonderful write up entitled Paralyzed By The Stash? at Quiltville Custom Quilting.

It struck a particular chord with me because I am a confessed FABRIC-AHOLIC. I buy fabric, (or at least I used to) on impulse. Sometimes there is just such a good sale that I can't pass it up, or maybe it's so unique that I believe I just have to have it. What ever the EXCUSE (and that's generally what it is), I find myself hauling yards upon yards of the stuff home with me. And to make it even easier to satisfy my 'need a fabric fix' cravings, there is always E-bay.

Well, I'm proud to say that for the past, oh, about 6 months now I haven't purchased much fabric at all. That decision is partly because I had to promise myself that I would enroll in a 12 Step Program if I couldn't get a grip. And since I don't have the time for it, I had to rein myself in (a little). Another factor was that when looking around my studio, closets, and assorted other areas, I see a stash just too large to deal with. And it seems that I just cannot bring myself to sort through it.

I know that I should at the very least get it into some reasonable order. Because as it is, I don't even know what I've got. Or I can't find what I'm looking for when I need it. I just don't know exactly how to do that. I can't seem to find a starting point. And yes, I have even tried to convince myself that if I could 'eat the elephant one bite at a time' it would make the task more do-able. Well, I'm afraid that after I take the first bite I will have bitten off more than I can chew! LOL. Besides, I've gotten to where I kind of avoid opening the containers because I instantly become over-whelmed by 'those chemicals'. If you don't know what I'm talking about - read this:


Chemical warning!

A recent study indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) causes memory loss and induces the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter i.e. storing food). Therefore perpetuating their species and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others. Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high pitched sound, heard only by a select few. When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants; "buy me..... cut me.....sew me".

In order to overcome the so called "feeding frenzy effect" that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being
pulled into their grip. One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a fabric store, with WWII army gas masks and headphones!

Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called, 'FABRIC STORE CLERKS'. It's also been experienced that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to hide these fabric purchases when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by a significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is "oh, I've had that for awhile."

(Author and government agency responsible for this notice unknown)

Oh, what a dilemma. I guess I'll just have to think on this a little more. Maybe I'll hit a few garage sales just to see if I can pick up a cheap Hazmat suit. And if not, maybe I can find some good buys on fabric. LOL.